Hi,
I posted a brief intro in another thread but thought I would leave a more detailed one here for people looking at people’s stories, looking for ones similar to their own, just like I have.
I’m 23 years old, and was diagnosed with chronic Hepatitis B on the 4th April 2022, 6 days after my 23rd birthday. I moved to South Korea on the 17th of March and as part of my visa, I had to have a medical check done. I did the tests, then got a text from the doctor saying they needed to call me about my results. Knowing the administrative staff that dealt with these calls didn’t speak the best English, I asked my manager to call on my behalf so nothing was lost in translation so to speak. He spoke to them, put the phone down and said “I don’t know how to say this in English” and opened a translator, Hepatitis B popped up on screen and the next thing I know, I’m on my knees in the throes of a panic attack, crying and thinking “How?”
I went a whole week without being able to ask the questions I wanted to ask because of work and not quite understanding where to get help from. So living in limbo for that long was honestly, the worst part about the process of diagnosis for me. Thankfully, the doctor I have in Korea is one of the nicest people ever, he tried to explain everything as best as he could, he let me have a breakdown in his office and he’s even pushed for me to get tested for Hepatitis A and C, if I turn out to be negative, he’s scheduling me in to get my course of Hepatitis A vaccines ASAP.
Like most people, I only thought of Hepatitis as something you could get through unprotected sex or sharing needles. I have piercings and tattoos and have always been in the practice of watching the artists take needles out of sealed packaging because my mum used to say “you don’t want to get hepatitis or something” (ironic right?) and the only person I have had unprotected sexual contact with got a full screening done before we did and I was there when they got the results six months ago. My mum has been tested for Hepatitis B before and was negative so I haven’t had it since birth. In short, I have no idea how I got the infection and I never will.
I can accept that I have Hepatitis B and what that means for me - a lifestyle change (which lets be honest is something most people could stand to do, I and others with a diagnosis just have more motivation to do it now).
The thing I’m struggling the most with is the “I” word - “Infectious”. The idea that I could infect someone with something as small as a papercut, terrifies me. I had to tell the guy I had unprotected sex with about my status (because that’s the right thing to do) he took it well and despite us not being together anymore, he has been checking in on me throughout the process. I’m single at the moment so I’m dreading having to have “that” conversation with someone when I’m ready to be intimate with them. Hell, I haven’t even touched myself since my diagnosis because I find myself a bit repulsing now, like my body has betrayed me. I’m dreading when my period next comes around because the thought of my blood, let alone the sight of it, sets me off into a state of upset. In short, I sometimes feel like a bit of a leper and am worried people will treat me as one, even if the emotional connection is already there.
All of this and I’m on the other side of the world to my normal support network (family, friends, doctors that I can communicate more easily with, a healthcare system I know)
Despite all of this “negative” news, I’ve tried to look at the positives in the short time since my diagnosis.
- I’ve been diagnosed - most people only find out after there has been extensive damage done to the liver.
- Thankfully, my Hepatitis B is inactive for now, which (thanks to members on this page) I know means inflammation is low and the chance of transmission is low (BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE)
- The things I need to do to manage my condition are, realistically, things everyone should do anyway, or at least get told by their doctors to do - sleep well, eat well, practice safe sex, drink less alcohol, and quit smoking (even social smoking) and these are easy changes to make, especially with support.
- I now know to have a blood test and a liver scan done every six months to monitor my condition and the doctors know I should be having this done too, so I will get a little reminder when I inevitably forget to go because I’m crap at keeping track of time.
- I know I should reach for the ibuprofen before the paracetamol because paracetamol is metabolized in the liver (which, with migraines, is a good thing to know)
- I’m lucky to have an amazing support network I can easily get in contact with one way or another (family, friends, this community) who aren’t treating me like the leper I feel like sometimes.
- I know that whoever I end up in a relationship with, or being intimate with is probably going to be a halfway decent person - I have a great way to screen for the assholes now!
- I can’t infect someone that is vaccinated and has been shown to have reacted to the vaccine (I’ve told all my family to get vaccinated then check their bloods after as some people do not react to the vaccine).
This is my new normal. It might be your new normal too, or your regular normal, I don’t know. But, if you have managed to read this behemoth of an intro (more like a life story… sorry) then I hope it brings you some small comfort that you aren’t alone, much like other stories on here did for me.
In the short time that I have been aware of my condition (10 days as of the posting of this), this community has been the thing that has really got me through the most. Knowing you aren’t alone and being able to speak freely with others who understand, is the most liberating thing and I promise you, we’re all here for each other. 