I wake up these days with suicidal thoughts, like the joy for life isn’t there. I try to tell myself “this isn’t the end of me” “better days are ahead” “I just need to get on treatment” but I don’t know how I’m holding up mentally. What strategies do you guys use when you’re feeling this kind of way… I’m thinking maybe mediation?
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Hi @sam12,
Sorry to hear that you are having this thought and battling through this. It is not easy, but as you rightly said this is not the end of life. We can still live and enjoy life in our own small ways. I have found gardening, walking , talking to others about my thoughts, listening to my favorite songs, volunteering (to help others), getting busy or occupied and having a positive attitude and mindset have been helpful for me. I have developed all these coping skills over the years. Try the walk or running and get some fresh air into your lungs and talk to someone. Sure, meditation can help as well. I don’t do meditation because I can’t stop my mind from thinking and concentrating is an issue lol.
Being alone in your thoughts can lead us to dark places at times. Sharing they say is caring. Just talk to anyone that will listen about what is on your mind. It can feel lonely but you are not alone in this fight. HBV should not be the end of your life, you have more in you to give to your family, loved ones and society as a whole. Taking your life might seem as the best option, but think also about the hurt you cause to all the people you leave behind. Please, talk to someone if you can and don’t do anything harmful.
You can talk to your doctor about getting on treatment and what that looks like where you are.
Please, hold on tight and there are better days ahead. Best, Bansah1
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Thank you for your response @Bansah1
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Hi @sam12,
Thank you for sharing your experiences and vulnerabilities. I know it can be a lot when being diagnosed with hep B and indeed you’re not alone regarding these thoughts. Some of the other threads have shown that these mental impacts are quite common throughout - Mental Health - Hep B Community
While meditation can be helpful, if these thoughts are recurring and really impacting your daily life, please reach out for more formal medical supports through your health provider. Some resources can also be accessed by other means: Mental Health resources
Wishing you all the best,
Thomas
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So sorry to hear that you’re not feeling well, sam12. I feel the same way sometimes. I sometimes feel angry at the doctor who diagnosed with this virus. After all, I had no symptoms and was then given a diagnosis of an incurable “disease”. That’s a bitter pill to swallow and it turned my life upside down. I often wonder if all this testing is wise at all, given the emotional trauma this diagnosis causes. Assuming that the vaccine against hepatitis B is safe and effective, it would have caused us all a lot of heartache if doctors had at least suggested getting vaccinated before giving us this diagnosis and causing us so much mental distress.
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It gets better with time…most of us have gone through the same mindsets.
Fear and frustration can get the best of you…
Personally church and gospel music helped alot, also i love movies and series so i would concentrate on them alot and for some good time, i would forget about it, so you can concentrate on your hobbies.
Also, acceptability will help you alot and knowing that other people around the world are also dealing with other health issues like diabetes, sickle-cells etc and these people take medication everyday and live their lives so you can also live.
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@sam12 meditation, distraction, hobbies, movies, church, keeping busy, routines, doing things you enjoy. Helping others completely takes my mind off myself.
If this continues and you start to plan taking your life, either ring a crisis line or see your medical provider immediately. Most people regret attempting suicide but for some it’s too late. Please know that you are valued.
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Thank you for your help guys. Will continue to remain positive 
@ThomasTu @Barry @Lilibet94 @Caraline
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